Widget Mangler IV – The Rise of Mangolor

Hank Bodget is back in this all action, all expenses paid, goo-fest that is the Widget Mangler Trilogy.

In his usual archaic style Hank swaggers onto the opening scene, widget mangler in hand, and utters his legendary catch phrase, “Got a Widget? Lets Mangle!”, and thats when it all kicks off.

Leaping over tall buildings he mangles his widgets indescrimantely, without warning, or even a ‘by your leave’. Its a rude, impolite, and yet utterly devastating to the senses of callow youths and pensioners alike.

Hank’s sidekick, Potato McSpleen, gushes forth throughout the movie like a rabid sugar glider on cheap hooch and caffeine. Never before have I seen a vertically challenged young man so avidly tearing through widgets and mangling them to perfection, even in spite of their being no restrooms for miles around in the flat barren plains that form the back drop of this disasterous plot in epic proportions.

Love interest you ask? Well yes of course, its the beautifully warted Sassy Goonflap who wrings the life out of the Mangolor character with a wretched gusto that can only be described as adequately deranged with a touch of melancholy. The way she grabs Hank by the widgets, and slowly pulls him close in a passionate embrace while placing both legs over her head is astoundingly both beautiful and ferociously stupid at the same time.

I laughed and threw up in equal measure while watching this movie (sometimes simultaneously).

5 stars, two thumbs up and a packet of Cheese and Onion Crisps

Completely recommended for anyone who usually avoids movie theatres due to personal hygiene issues.

Inflatable Party BBQ

We’ve all faced that embarrasing dilemma of trying to cram our 4 burner outdoor kitchen into the glove box of our compact cars. No matter how you grunt, push or shove, that sucker is just not going in there.

Well now your problem is solved. Introducing the Inflatable Party BBQ from Dogdy Products Direct.

Never before has a cooking appliance been so hermetically sealed into such a small space. A space so small that it may in some cases defy the laws of physics and become a miniature black hole, complete with its own event horizon.

This feature is extraordinarily convenient for cleaning up after parties. Just deflate this little beauty, vacuum seal it into its carrying case using the supplied nuclear fusion power vaculator, and then sit back on your deck chair as a worm hole forms in your immediate reality and sucks in all party detriutus, plastic cups, wrapping paper, decorations and garbage, and then spits it out somewhere else in the universe that you don’t care about. Yes of course this may form a singularity of galactic proportions, but hey, its not in your back yard so its no longer your problem.

This BBQ comes with a lifetime guarantee. We guarantee that your lifetime will be shorter if you use it.

Just yesterday, I dragged this beauty out to the astonishment of my friends, family, and military authorities, and cooked up a storm. Yes the meat may have been cook to perfection beyond crispy and even dogs turned their noses up and howled off to never return, but we all had a good time until uncle Bernie started to sing his signature, “I’ve got my pants on my head” song. It was embarassing, but the Inflatable BBQ just kept on cooking, until everyone decided to move the party on to the hospital casualty department, where we continued to make merry and undergo treatment for third degree burns and food poisoning at the same time. Oh how we laughed.

Where can you get this party starter? Hop on over to Dodgy Products Direct and its all yours.

Forget Carpet! Lounge Lawn is all the Rage!

Are you sick of looking at a carpet that just sits there and does nothing ? Do you yearn for the outdoors but never actually leave the house? Do actually like to watch the grass grow under your feet?

Well now you can. Lounge Lawn is the future of in-home interior design. Stylish, trendy and always great looking, now you can get that ‘fresh cut’ smell right inside your not-so humble abode.

I saw a great affiliate program for this stuff just a few short weeks ago, but I decided to buy into it myself as the testimonials were absolutely astounding…

“Where the was once tile, now I have my own indoor hanging garden of babylon…”
Archibald Smegglethwaite - Grimsby

“The lawn grubs were annoying at first, but now they make great pets for the kids…”
Geraldin Snogly-Smythe - Toorak

“Indoor cricket is now an option in my living room once more…thanks Lounge Lawn”
Geoffrey Hobbly - Bangalor
Read more…